Lyndsay, a local teenager, recently celebrated her 16th birthday, prompting significant reflection from her "bonus mom," Sarah Shrader of Bath Township. Shrader noted that the milestone has led her to consider not just Lyndsay’s age, but also the remarkable young woman she has become over the past six years.
Shrader described Lyndsay as someone she genuinely admires, particularly after observing how her "sweet 16" party came together. The celebration was distinguished not merely by its decorations or custom soda bar, Shrader stated, but by how every detail, from the pink-and-gold leopard-print theme to the matching tableware, reflected Lyndsay’s personal vision. Lyndsay patiently brought this vision to life, organizing almost all aspects of the event herself, according to Shrader. While Shrader assisted with securing the location, sending invitations, and handling payments, she emphasized that Lyndsay was the primary force behind the party's organization.
This self-sufficiency, Shrader observed, is characteristic of Lyndsay. Shrader said that if there is a plan to make, a schedule to keep, or a project to organize, Lyndsay has likely already begun working on it. Lyndsay has consistently taken responsibility for her own schedule, setting her alarm and managing her morning routine since Shrader first met her. Shrader noted that Lyndsay's dislike of being late has led her to become the household scheduler, aware of departure times and the family's readiness status. Shrader humorously added that Lyndsay often knows exactly how far behind schedule Shrader herself might be.
Beyond scheduling, Lyndsay is also described as proactive in maintaining household order. Shrader mentioned often hearing Lyndsay remind others about picking up after themselves, sometimes repeating phrases Shrader herself uses, which Shrader finds amusing. Lyndsay is also highlighted for her humor, capable of making people laugh with a well-timed comment, a random dance move, or even a meaningful glance across a room. Shrader views Lyndsay as a "helper," a "sidekick," and a preferred companion for errands.
Shrader shared that she has witnessed considerable growth in Lyndsay since she entered her life just before her middle-school years. Shrader, who now helps four other children navigate middle school, characterized these years as challenging. She recalled moments when Lyndsay learned "lessons the hard way" and navigated difficult experiences, making Shrader wonder if her guidance was making an impact. However, Shrader saw "it all click" little by little.
Academically, Lyndsay achieved strong results last year and is continuing that success this year, according to Shrader. She now independently manages her assignments, only seeking help when needed. Shrader mentioned that she lovingly directs Lyndsay to her father for assistance with science, acknowledging her own limitations.
Shrader and Lyndsay have engaged in discussions about important life topics, including confidence, friendships, self-worth, and the tendency to push people away as a form of self-protection. This particular lesson has been significant for Lyndsay, who, when she first met Shrader, had valid reasons to be cautious about welcoming another woman into her life. Shrader felt an immediate connection but recognized that words alone would not suffice; Lyndsay needed her to prove her commitment.
Over six years, through school challenges, study habits, car rides, and kitchen conversations, Shrader stated she consistently "kept showing up." She believes Lyndsay eventually began to trust her. Over time, Lyndsay evolved from "the little girl who came with the man I fell in love with" to much more. Shrader clarified that while Lyndsay is her "bonus daughter," she is also "simply mine," a connection forged not by how they became family but through their shared relationship. Shrader asserted that her love for Lyndsay is for who she is, independent of her love for Lyndsay's father.
Shrader expressed immense pride in the young woman Lyndsay is becoming, noting her ability to discern what she will and will not accept from others. For those who earn a "front-row seat" in her life, Lyndsay shows up, cares, and "loves hard."
Shrader also recounted a shared "California" code she has with Lyndsay, which originated from a joke about dropping everything and driving to California. Now, "California" signifies a moment when life becomes overwhelming, and they both need an escape. Shrader expressed her hope that Lyndsay will always know she can use this code, whether at 16, 26, or 46, and Shrader will understand. In such moments, Shrader stated, she will grab the keys, Lyndsay will grab the Gatorade, and Lyndsay will, naturally, inform her of their departure time.
Sarah (Pitson) Shrader is a Lima native, a graduate of Lima Central Catholic and Tiffin University. She is a full-time working mother who enjoys writing about her family life. Shrader resides in Bath Township with her husband, Lee Parsons, and their seven children.